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Mummy life: How to look like you have your act together, when really you haven't.

So Adeline is now 12 weeks old and the week before last week I left the house twice, actually it was two days in a row and it was liberating. After fighting the fear for so many weeks I finally got the courage to drive to Mall of the Emirates to meet some fellow mummies for a well deserved shot of caffeine. As I arrived at the mall Adeline started to cry, she was hungry again after only 40 minutes from her last feed. She’s a milk monster and proud. So I parked up and jumped in the back seat where I sat there with the AC blasting while I fed her for about 20 minutes. I then burped her, and knocked her head on the top of the car – luckily she didn’t cry but I did feel bad. It was a very light knock. I then got her back in her car seat and made my way into the mall. We managed to pick up a gift for one of the girls and then had a quick nappy change before heading to Starbucks. The whole time this was happening I was feeling anxious that she would break into tears or I would break into a sweat. Anyway, we made it and it was fine. It was great. Once at Starbucks, I whipped out my cape to feed (again), we drank coffee and chatted babies and poo stories. It was adult conversation about daily life as a new mum. It’s so important to know that you’re not alone, and actually so many new mums are going through the same thing.
I guess the feeling of anxiety comes from not knowing if you’re doing it right, or if you’re the only one going through the same thing? The fear of driving? The fear of the baby crying in public? Having to change an explosive poo in a public changing room. They seem so small but they can be really overwhelming especially when you see fellow mummies looking together, calm and collected. Ya know, the ones who wear heels and manage to get into their size 8 jeans only 3 weeks after giving birth. Mmmmm yeah, whatever like we even care?! Of course we care, we are social media crazy and I’ve come to realise that this could be contributing to our daily fears.
baby adeline
So here’s a few easy tips to fake it…
1. Tag yourself at lunch or whenever you leave the house. No one really knows that you actually only left the house once this week.
2. The baby selfie. Probably on the same day you leave the house to go out, you may of found a few minutes to slap on some makeup for the big lunch date. Take an selfie and post it a few days later. Friends might say ” man, she looks good for just having a baby”. Hmm yes, a combination of makeup and Instagram filters.
baby selfie
3. Share pictures of your beautiful peaceful baby with a cuddly toy perfectly placed by his or her side. Little do they know that you took about 25 pictures to get the 1 picture you want to share on Instagram and there is no way your baby is even old enough to play with the stuffed animal lying next to her. Of course you styled that photo!
4. When mummy friends ask if your baby sleeps, you reply with whatever your baby did last night. “Oh my baby slept for 5 and half years last night, it was amazing.” You’re not technical lying but they don’t need to know this a one off, and you’re generally lucky if you get a solid 3 hours.
baby adeline
5. When visitors come to see you’re new baby make sure you’re dressed. They don’t need to know that 15 minutes before their arrival you were in your pjs and exactly 8 minutes after they leave you’re back in your pjs. Why sit in maternity jeans and uncomfortable nursing bras when you can hang out in your pjs.
I’d like to write more but right now I’m too tired, and because I have guests coming over I need to have a quick shower, put on some decent looking clothes and cover up my hormonal spots with concealer. Obviously I won’t put a full face of makeup on, that would look too forced, almost like I’ve totally got my s**t together right?! 😉

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